{"componentChunkName":"component---src-templates-story-js","path":"/story/focusing-on-the-future-m/","result":{"pageContext":{"data":{"id":"-723cfb12-9bc6-5a2b-93f9-797edc292a96","authorFirstName":"Mahalie","storyTitle":"Focusing on the Future","photo":{"asset":{"url":"https://cdn.sanity.io/images/nr9digz2/production/ebe84b07705972a903eb768f30251741724bd15d-1500x1000.jpg"}},"audio":{"asset":{"url":"https://cdn.sanity.io/files/nr9digz2/production/63a1fd088cd684914b45efba9c930a0b9133d57f.mp3"}},"secondLanguageAudio":null,"school":{"name":"Concord High School","city":"Concord","location":"New Hampshire"},"tags":["Health and Illness","Loneliness, Doubt or Loss"],"_rawText":[{"_key":"95673ee1c5a7","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"35764a4914100","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"For as long as I can remember, I’ve been running. My mom runs. My brother runs. My cousins run. So I ran. I never really cared how I did, until I started winning, and then I cared too much. Something that was supposed to be fun caused so much stress but if I stopped I would lose and let everyone down."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"02d65cbf9725","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"77bac8adfac60","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"8th grade track was when my winning streak ended. I sprained my MCL and was still recovering when the season started, but something else was off. I couldn’t run like I had a couple months earlier, but at the moment all I could think about was if I could still win. A sad reality hit when my mile was almost 30 seconds slower than I had run it the year before. I blamed it on my MCL, but with each race I was getting worse. If I only knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have just taken Advil to ease the pain and hoped for a better race next time. I wanted to quit by the end of the season and was losing the little hope I had left. My legs were sore all the time and I had no energy at practice."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"3c01dfb5231b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3a7532ad6b140","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"Summer training for cross county started soon after school ended. High school is a new start, I kept telling myself. When everything was looking up again, the mileage increased and I got shin splints. I tried desperately to make them go away, but nothing was working and they just got worse. My hope for a new start was fading as my first high school race approached."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"ab2695fa43e3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ef3a5544fd2d0","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"BOOM! The gun went off at the start line. It was 90 degrees and sunny on one of the hilliest courses of the season. I started out well and got ahead of the pack, but by the second mile I could feel my energy fading, and by the third I was just trying to finish. Crossing the finish line, I was being passed by people I knew I could beat. Feeling sick, I finished the race and fell to the ground as my vision went blurry."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"496cf9655f4d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"95fa0caca15a0","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"The majority of the season went about as well as the first race. While my results were disappointing, I started to enjoy running again. I didn't just practice so I could win. I practiced because it was fun and I wanted to see my team. Even though I had accepted my place on the team, I still wanted to know what happened between 7th grade and now. I had a lot of tests done and everything came back normal, except my iron levels. Now that I knew what was causing my tunnel vision and fainting my season got better and I could run faster for longer."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f981fc41210a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"7a4ae15e733c0","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"“You're racing in states,” were the words that I had been waiting for the whole season. Even though I still wasn’t feeling 100%, I raced my best and ended the season feeling better than I started."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"0c7668037237","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"7c4114c90d0a0","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"“You're only a freshman. If you keep wishing you did better, you’ll be the best in the world and still not satisfied,” one of my coaches told me after a bad race."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2d0beaee89b9","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f54e4e5b886b0","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"This quote stuck with me, and I think about it whenever my results are disappointing; I now realize that I’ve been focusing on the past when I need to look to the future and what I can accomplish."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"264438d1933d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b63a75b788cf0","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"Flash forward to now, and I’ve just raced my first high school track meet and am running like I could in the 7th grade. But most importantly, I don’t focus on results anymore. Although I feel better when I see my times dropping, results don’t determine my mood or how I view myself."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"5a62083c9024","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"cc2cb6f7361e0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"\n"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]}}},"staticQueryHashes":["3309388390","890781507"]}