I have not met many people that get along with their parents, yet I am lucky to say that my mother is my best friend. She has always been the one who understood me when everyone else wanted to judge me. I realized not that long ago that she is my best friend and no one else could ever take her place. We have a special picture of me smiling as a baby, yet the picture does not tell the full story. My eyes were watery because I had been crying. That may seem sad, yet in the background my mom was trying to make me laugh, stop crying, and smile for the picture. When I see this picture I only think of my mom’s endless love for me and the effort she makes to make me smile.
During my freshman year in high school, I was really struggling with personal issues and was always feeling sad. I never said anything to my mom until my sophomore year because I didn't want to worry her and I didn’t want to be a problem. My mom knew that I was struggling. She'd ask me what was wrong and I would say nothing. She would always remind me that she can tell when I am not okay just by looking in my eyes. I felt bad because I knew that she wanted to know what was bothering me. Sadly, I felt like telling her the truth would upset her even more because she tends to blame herself when I’m not okay.
Everything was getting worse. My issues were at the worst point and I was never happy. I finally decided to tell my mom that I thought I was depressed and had anxiety because I didn't want to be like that forever. Telling her was hard deep down. I avoided telling her for so long so that I didn't have to deal with it either. I didn't want to admit that I wasn't doing good. I found ways to distract myself from everything going on and even though it isn't good for me, I didn't want to let that go. Surprisingly, when I told her she stayed calm, but I could tell she was upset that I was going through all this for so long without telling anyone. She always tells me I need to learn how to be okay with telling people I'm not okay and that holding it all in isn't good.
My mom was obviously worried so she made me an appointment to find some answers. The doctor tested me and it turned out she was able to help me. My mom was there for me the entire time and put me in therapy for my issues. Even though I ended up not liking it, I'm glad she signed me up because it helped me be more comfortable talking about my problems. Since I didn't want to have to go to a hospital for some of my problems she would figure out different interventions that could help me get through my days. It was a lot of extra work for my mom, but she never complained about it. She only cared about my health and did anything to make sure I got better.
I did in fact get better overtime yet sometimes it's still a struggle. My mom has never left my side and she has continued to be my biggest support.
That picture of me laughing and crying is still a perfect example of my mom’s dedication and endless love. I realized all my mom has ever wanted was for me to be happy and she will do as much as she can to help me be the happy little girl she always dreamt of.
I learned that sometimes it is okay to ask for help.