The end of 2017: I was in 7th grade about to start the second semester. To set the scene, I’m sitting on these uncomfortable, plastic bleachers waiting for the bell to ring signaling that we could start walking to our first period. A girl walked up to me. She was pale and had long black hair. She said something along the lines of, ”Hey, you look lonely. Want to hang out with my friends and me?” I nodded because I was kind of shocked. I didn’t have many friends in middle school so this whole talking to people thing was new. I noticed that I recognized her from my math class. We started talking more and more until we were best friends. Beth\* and I grew close; we would tell each other everything. Eventually, we had our first sleepover. Most of the things we were talking about were boys or how we hated our parents. That was normal for girls our age. What I didn’t think was normal at the time was what I was thinking. A part of me wanted to be those boys she was talking about. I also found myself later that night thinking, “What would happen if I just leaned down and kissed her?” As you would probably expect, I just shoved those feelings down and hid them away. In my mind, girls weren’t meant to be with other girls. It was only girls and boys and boys and girls. If only old me could see the new me now. This kept happening. My family and I went on a trip and there I really had time to think about what was going on in my brain. A few days and a lot of research later, I texted Beth\*. I wanted to start the conversation off normal, so I did. We talked for a while about how the trip was going and how much I missed her, and then I finally blurted out what I had been wanting to say for a while now: “Hey, I think I’m Bisexual.” The scariest part was waiting. Beth\* was my best friend. I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had so far. She responded with, “What made you realize you are Bi?” Well, now I had two options: I could tell her the truth or I could lie. I responded to her, “I don’t know I just found girls here cute all of the sudden.” Yes, yes. I know I took the easy route, but in my defense, I knew she was straight. Beth\* was the best thing that happened to me and I couldn’t ruin that. Thankfully she still treated me like she used to. We still had sleepovers, and we still would talk about crushes, although I did make up an imaginary girl I liked to throw her off track. I love the friendship that I got to keep with her. I was really sad and stressed keeping a secret from my best friend, and eventually, our friendship fell apart. Hey, at least I learned that things change and you have to keep going either way.
*Name has been changed.
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