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Ashika

Lowell High School, Lowell, Massachusetts

I was 3:00 a.m. I was sleeping when I woke up to the phone ringing. My older brother answered. He came to my room with heavy steps and his body was shaking. “What happened and why are you shaking?” I asked him. He put the phone on loudspeaker. It was my dad. “We are in the hospital and your mom is in the intensive care unit.” We could clearly hear our dad’s voice crushing all of his hopes, but still he told us to stay strong.

My parents were in a hospital in India, my mom was an Indian citizen and born in Lankapara. But after my parents got married they moved to Nepal, where we were born and lived. My mom had an incurable heart problem. She had been living with it since my little brother was born more than 14 years before. But while my parents were traveling to deal with documents, my mom had a hard time breathing and went to the hospital. At the time, my brothers and I were in Nepal at our home.

That night, my brothers and I were shocked. We prayed to Buddha for my mom. Twenty minutes later, my dad called again, ‘‘ Mom is no more with us.’’ I remember screaming ‘THIS IS NOT TRUE!’ We started crying uncontrollably. It was utterly unimaginable. I was sixteen years old.

We held the funeral in India, where my mom was born. After the funeral we came back to Nepal and learned to live without her. I thought a lot about her and how happy my family had been. My mom had been the one who took care of our whole family.

Growing up I learned many valuable lessons from listening to my mom. She told me many of her experiences, how women didn’t have any education- al facilities when she was young, and how women were often considered as servants. My mom had never been allowed to finish high school. She went to school until grade five, but then she had to quit because of all of the housework she had to do. In my culture, our society expects that women have to cook and clean for their family and men are responsible for getting jobs and earning money. But my mom taught me that it was okay to want to study and it was okay to be an independent woman.

Now that she was gone, I worried that I would have to take over her responsibilities in caring for our family. That I wouldn’t be able to study. I felt miserable, I did not want to be one of those women who my society expected me to be. I had so many dreams of what I wanted to be.

I remember one day a month after my mom passed away, I was sitting on a chair, and my dad and big brother came and sat beside me. “We know it hasn’t been easy for you since mom left us,” they said, “but you don’t have to worry, we will help you. We can continue living together a life full of kindness.” They promised me that I could continue my studies, and that they would always help me to do the household work. It made me feel so fortunate and it gave me hope.

Over the past four years there has been a lot of change. Soon after she passed, my family and I moved to the United States. My brothers and I are continuing our studies. My dad has a full time job. I don’t have to worry about doing all of the housework. My family enthusiastically encourages me in whatever endeavor I choose to take. My family is my inspiration, my pillar of strength. I promise that I will make them proud. My mom wanted to see me become a successful woman. And I know my family’s support will always be there for me, helping me succeed.

© Ashika. All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.

    Tags:

  • Family
  • Gender and Sexuality
  • Migration
  • Loneliness, Doubt or Loss