After a week of battling covid, my grandma passed away at 7:00 AM on January 27, 2021. When we took her in, we had no idea that it would be the last time we were going to see her alive. We were devastated and afraid because she was ill and were hoping to avoid the worst. After many emergency room visits and days in a hospital, she spent her last moments alone because visitors were not allowed in her room. I can still hear the echoes of the pain and devastation my mom and family experienced when the doctors told us on the phone that my grandma's heart had given up. She had taken her last breaths. Our eyes were filled with pain as the tears streamed down our faces. My life dramatically changed at that moment.

I ran to my room and felt like giving up to be with her. I cried and cried for hours and days not accepting the fact that she was gone. I still couldn't believe it. I demanded answers from God. “Why God? Why did you have to take her from us?” On that day, my life took a devastating turn because I realized that my travel buddy, second mom, caregiver, and idol were gone. My grandma was an independent, hardworking, loving, and kind person who never said no to whatever I asked her. She was a clean freak and an animal lover. She built me into the person that I am today. I always wanted to follow in my grandma's footsteps, and later on, I realized that I developed the same talents as her. People noticed. They would tell me that I have a sweet soul just like my grandma. I always feel joyful hearing that because it is a reminder that I carry a piece of her with me. My house is filled with constant reminders of my grandma. I see pictures everywhere. When I look at them, I think of the memories of me spending time with her at her house or my mom and me taking her to doctor appointments.

After many days of crying and not eating, I understood that it was my grandma’s time to go. She was no longer suffering through all the pain. She was resting and reunited with her parents and one son. Happy tears started coming down and a light smile cracked my face. After two years without her, I still can't believe she isn't here. I won't be able to see her on the day of my 15th birthday or when I get married or for any of life’s milestones. When we visit her grave, I still cry but I remember that she is in heaven looking down on us, guiding and protecting us. She’s making sure that we are safe from heaven. I'm proud to say that I have an angel looking down on me.

I want to dedicate this to my grandma who is no longer here with us. Your memories will forever and always live on with us. Thank you for all your sacrifices, care, and concern for me and the family. You taught me how to be a mature, kind, independent, and loving person. You taught me not to depend on anyone else and how to love myself for who I truly am. Your passing has taught me to never take things for granted. I know that you are in a better place now and I will forever be grateful that I had a grandma like you.

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