What is the image you have of yourself? I have struggled to answer this question throughout past years, and I can accept that I still do. A middle school student in an afternoon class, worried about every single strand of hair on his head, overthinking every brief glance laid upon him. Only now have I realized that all that pressure I felt was put on me by myself. Maybe I was never the one to relieve this pressure, maybe it was another? Perhaps I never needed to hold onto it in the first place?

Freshman year of high school, and those eyes only felt more imposing, heavier, almost suffocating. Going through a break-up the past year wasn’t easy for me, especially not with the anxiety of sharing classes with her. In my head, it was as if every action I took somehow involved judgment from others. As the periods would pass by, I walked through the halls as if I was a puppet being pulled every which way, all by the image I thought others had of me. Freshman year was a time that I was unsure of myself, but there was progress through my struggles. The relationships that I had built with others allowed me to find a part of myself or to reassure the part of myself that I couldn’t come to accept. I was beginning to see that I was more than just the sum of how others viewed me.

The last week of freshman year, and I woke up to a text—a text from her. It took me a while to render what I had just read, but in that same moment and every moment before, I knew somewhere deep inside that I had my own worth. The problem was that I hadn’t valued my worth; I had thought of myself as less than others, always beneath, always not enough. To be able to rekindle this relationship with her brought me reassurance—she brought me reassurance of myself. Relationships aren’t perfect, but that’s what makes a relationship. A relationship can be as much of a storm as it is a sunny day. Sometimes, it’s the storms that teach us the most about ourselves, about others, about what it means to be human.

That is why I ask you: who do you have to be your stability? Everybody needs someone, whether a friend, lover, or family member. The relationships you have make you the person you are. Every day we experience pressure, whether it be from school, work, or even from others, and that load can be too heavy for even the strongest. We aren’t meant to carry it all alone, and maybe that’s something I wish I had realized sooner. Strength isn’t about holding everything yourself; it’s about knowing when to lean on others.

Sophomore year wasn’t any different from my past years in the sense that I had challenges, but I wasn’t the same person I was in those past years. I had changed, grown, and learned to accept myself more. The eyes that once made me feel uneasy became fleeting, insignificant moments compared to the eyes of those I cherished. The weight of perception that had crushed me before felt lighter. With every single day that passed, I felt more and more like myself, as if I were slowly but surely stepping into my own skin. It’s the people you surround yourself with that allow you to be you, to remind you of your worth when you forget. Because we all forget sometimes.

So I ask you again: who is your stability? Who reminds you that you matter, even when you struggle to see it yourself?

© Cody. All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.