When I was younger, I wanted so desperately to be like the other kids in my classes who could raise their hand, participate in class, and were friends with everyone. I wondered why I wasn’t like that. On the report cards that came every year, all my teachers would say different things, but there would always be one thing that they would all say: she’s really quiet and I wish she would participate more. It wasn’t like I was going to be made fun of for raising my hand in class or sharing my thoughts, but because I’d been quiet all year, I thought it'd be better to leave the talking to someone who’d been participating all year. All throughout elementary school and up until eighth grade, I was known as the quiet kid.

I thought eighth grade was going to be the same as every previous school year. On the first day of school, I met all my teachers and I didn’t dislike them, but I didn’t love them that much either. As the school year progressed, I had gotten back into reading, and English quickly became my favorite class. In October, the eighth grade English teachers all decided to gather in one room with mini-smores for horror stories which was really fun. My English teacher was an old man named Mr. Gocha who was retiring that year, but that didn’t stop him from being full of life. He didn’t care what anyone thought of him and I admired that. He loved cold-calling students. If nobody wanted to answer a question, he would put all our names onto a wheel and spin. If you got picked, you answered. I remember he asked us what we wanted him to know about us at the beginning of the year. I had said, “don’t pick on me if I don’t raise my hand.” He didn’t seem to care. Even though I detested it at first, I realized it wasn’t that bad, and over time I connected with more of my classmates and I started participating in all my classes frequently.

I formed stronger relationships with all my teachers and at the end of the year, my English teacher, alongside my friends and I, joined the school talent show together. I wanted to quit at some point because I was worried I was going to embarrass myself, however, when I expressed this to my friends, they said if I wasn’t doing it, they wouldn’t either. When I told Mr Gocha that I didn’t know if I was going to be in it anymore, he essentially said I should just do it. I did. Even though it was stupid, it was fun. So when the last day of school came, I dreaded it instead of being delighted like the other kids.

In ninth grade, I kept my somewhat outgoing personality. It was weird because I’d never been the kid who eagerly raised their hand to answer a question; therefore, when I did, I found it was quite easy. Throughout the school year, I took more chances. I was asked to join two clubs during freshmen orientation and I officially joined one of them, so now I dedicate my Wednesday afternoons to the club. I never pictured myself being a part of Racial Equity, but because of it, I've been able to connect with so many people and gain opportunities that I never would have had before.

I was determined to join Planning For Life And Career, despite the class being full. I kept persisting and I eventually got in. At some point, we were asked to analyze our personalities. I wrote four pages, describing myself as persistent, impulsive, and passionate; three things that would never have described me in seventh grade.

© Sirjana Khanal. All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.