In the early summer of 2020, right before I entered ninth grade, I discovered something about myself that I hadn’t been aware of before. There were faint hints of it every once in a while, but my family just labeled it as part of my personality. When I was younger, they always thought that I was just this hyper kid, with the attention span of a pigeon, who did nothing but play video games and hang around his friends. Honestly, that was true, and once my parents saw that it was too much, especially since I was getting older and starting to transition into an adult, they decided that something needed to be done.

I was really confused about why my mom took me to the doctor that summer day. I wasn’t aware of the situation, but I was curious and nervous to find out. That was, until I saw someone I hadn’t seen in a long time. The doctor that I was visiting with was the very same doctor that treated me from when I was a baby until I was about six. I am glad that she was the doctor that we took care of my problem with, because I felt comfortable around her. Anyway, we ran a few basic tests, all coming up with some surprising results for me, but not so surprising for my family.

“ADHD–what is it and how do you get it?” was the first question I asked when I looked at the test results handed to my mom. My doctor said that it is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and that it has a high chance to be passed on from a parent to their child. I was confused about how I even got it, because I knew my mom didn’t have ADHD. Then she told me that I got it from my dad.

At this point I was lost, having no clue what was going on, and my doctor said, “I believe that if we put him on some medication, we can get rid of his hyperactivity, and we can improve his attention span.” Now, I was okay with improving my attention span, and maybe some hyperactivity could be removed, but I didn’t want to get rid of it all. I enjoyed running around and having fun with my friends, screwing around in class, and the feeling of excitement when I got an invite to my friend’s house. I didn’t want to lose all that. I didn’t want to feel like a bird locked in a cage, I didn’t want to feel introverted, and, most of all, I didn’t want to feel alone.

As doctors usually do, she went over the side effects of the medicine which included moodiness, anxiety, depression, and shyness. Obviously, I didn’t want them to affect me, so I said I didn’t want to take it. She expected that reaction from me, and apparently it happens with most people, so she followed up with the good effects, the main two being extreme attention span increase and an increased likelihood of academic success. After hearing this, my mom was set because I was failing some classes. Eventually, I became more open-minded as well.

It took some time, but I realized I needed to accept ADHD as part of who I am, as a part of who Luke really is. Some things need to change for the better. In my case, they did. Accepting who I am as a person really kept me away from the mindset where I would’ve felt depressed and alone. I think if I fell into that hole, I would’ve only ended up digging myself deeper, rather than asking someone to pull me out of it. Even now, I still struggle with anxiety, and I’m introverted, but I think that change is necessary for anyone to be truly happy.

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