When I was young, six or seven, my family lived in a house in Vancouver, with a red door, near Hazel Dell. When I was growing up, my parents always argued. Something small would turn into something that my parents would scream about. My mom always threw things at us, and my dad would leave and be gone for hours. I remember coming home, getting ready to open our red door, and hearing my mom screaming inside. I never wanted to open it because I knew what was on the other side. Looking back, it was a scary time, but I didn't know any better; it was all I knew growing up. Though it may not seem like a healthy home life, I still loved my family.

Eventually, my parents separated. It was terrifying to live through that. My parents always talked bad about each other right in front of us. I lived with my mom at first. I don’t remember much, but we were always moving. And, on the weekends we would go over to my dad’s to hang out. I felt as if I had to choose one parent over the other and not tell the other things. My dad got mad at me a lot because I would say something I wasn't supposed to, but I didn't know any better. I was just afraid to have one parent think I loved them more than the other.

From one place to another, we kept moving, and, because of that, I never had any real friends, because, just when I got close to someone, I would have to leave. Then one day my mom told me to lie to my dad about something important when I went over there for the weekend, but I couldn't; so all I did was cry. I hated them talking about each other like that and making me lie to them. I just wanted my parents to be happy with me, and, from that day on, I lived with my dad.

But, it hurt coming to live with my dad because I was really close to my older brothers, Orion and Jacob. I was young and annoying, but we were still close, and it sucked to be separated from them so much.

I grew up scared to get close to people because I was afraid to lose them. My whole childhood was losing people I cared about and having to be careful how much I loved and got close to my parents, since one day I would have to go live with the other one.

I spent all my childhood moving until I moved to Mossyrock, Washington, in sixth grade. At first, I was scared to really make any real friends, but I had so many people that were nice to me, so I slowly came out of my shell. I learned throughout the years of being scared to lose someone I love again, that, if I shut off everyone because I'm scared, I'll never get close to people again, and I'll just stay alone. Getting close to people is scary because you may lose them, but it's a part of life. In life you love and lose, and that's a beautiful thing that you should accept. Just because you may lose someone, shouldn't mean you barricade yourself in and stay alone. It took me a while to learn that through all I've been through, but it's something good to keep in mind.

I've lived in Mossyrock ever since then. I've made many friends, and even a girlfriend. I have learned to love and accept those I may lose in my life. It really can be a scary thing, but it's important in life to overcome those fears you may have. And, ever since then, I've grown as a person. I've grown closer to people that are supportive, and I've become more stable with my emotions. Most importantly, I've learned to love again.

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