Have you ever had a best friend, or at least that one friend that you can tell everything to? Well, I had a group of friends, and I couldn't talk to any of them about anything. I was the one they went to for everything. I was the one who solved all the problems. Even when I moved away, I was still the one to do that. They always expected me to be on their side, and it caused me to choose sides that I didn't want to choose.

This happened through elementary school and middle school. It hurt me so much because they didn't even see that they were making me choose who I care about. The only person who saw it was my friend Devin. He was the only one who understood where I was coming from. I often talked to him about my problems. He was the only one who ever really listened to me. I constantly told the others to stop roping me into all of their problems, and they kept doing it. No matter what I did or said, they never stopped putting me into a bad place. I was a lively, happy kid, and they constantly made choices I never wanted to make. At some point that friend group fell apart. I can't really remember when it fell apart. I just know it did.

I left in eighth grade and moved to a new school. I was hoping to get away from the drama and to finally distance myself from them, but, as always, they kept bringing me into the drama at their school. I was gone, not at their school, and they just kept on bringing me in to be the middle person. I didn't even have my best friend. His girlfriend made him stop talking to me, and our relationship hasn't been the same since. It's like I hardly recognize him. I miss him more than anything, but I could never talk to him. I got so tired of everything, of all of their drama, that I finally chose a side I didn't want to. Gosh, I didn't want to, but I had to choose a side finally, and I chose the wrong one. And, I regret it every day. That's when I started making and growing less than great friendships. I met some people that I regret meeting, and that just continuously caused problems for me.

Most of the time you don't realize that you're in a bad friendship with someone until it's too late. I ended up getting in trouble, and that's not the best. Not to mention, this was during the time my friend group was falling apart. This was my lowest point. During my sophomore year, I started to realize the people that I should be hanging out with and who I shouldn’t be. That year I dropped a lot of friendships because, yes, there was a past, but not a healthy past. I had to build new friendships that following year. It was difficult, but I then knew my worth. Now, I have that friend that I can tell anything and everything to. I actually have two. And I am more grateful for them every single day because, even when I go through my hard times, I know that they will always be there for me, no matter what and no matter when.

I guess what I'm saying is that you need to find those people and not let go of them when you find them, because those are the best type of people, the ones you can trust with everything. I am truly happy that I have found those people and that I have dropped the people who don't really care about me.

© Lillian. All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.