I don’t think about my future. Of course, as a kid you're oblivious to everything happening around you, but as you grow older you start losing that. For other kids it comes faster than others. Growing up I loved going wherever my mom, dad, or aunt took me. Wherever they went, I wanted to go with them even if I got bored I still wanted to be with them. That led me to meet a lot of people my mom, dad, and aunt knew whether it was work related or just old friends. Since I was five or so, I remember frequently walking to one of my mom and aunt’s friends' houses, Dona. Whether it was just to say hello or because my mom wanted mint leaves from her garden, we would visit her. As a kid I loved going to Dona’s house. At the entrance of the house there was a bird cage.We would play around with the two birds in the cage while my mom and Dona talked. Dona was a cheerful person. She was always laughing and making others around her laugh. Her laugh was so loud and intoxicating that it made you want to laugh as well. Dona lived alone although some of her kids would visit her and take care of her because she wasn’t able to walk and used a wheelchair. She always found a way to entertain herself and be happy

As I got older I never went to visit Dona whenever my mother went. I always had something to do like homework ,or I just didn’t feel like going out. In the back of my mind I always told myself “Next time I will.” That was always my excuse; that there was always a next time and that “next time” never came. Next thing I knew that was no next time. Not even if I pleaded to be able to make up for the lost time. Nothing will make up for the opportunities I didn’t take. Three years have gone by since she passed. The day I heard that she died everything felt surreal. I wanted to deny it, but I knew it was true. At the time I just didn’t know what to think. I didn't know how to feel, all I felt was this weight on my chest. A few days before her funeral my parents asked if me or my brother wanted to go because the funeral was going to be during a weekday. I said yes right away not because I got time off of school, but because I thought because of me being there at her funeral I will be able to make up for the time I lost even though I knew that my presence in her funeral wouldn’t change that. During the ceremony, I tried my best to not burst out in tears making a big lump in my throat that I just couldn’t swallow. The lump in my throat got only bigger and bigger, tempting me to cry.

Throughout the day all I could think of was how shameful I felt that I was not able to spend more time with her. I had so many chances to change that. When I was in the shower, I let myself cry my heart out and let everything that I was holding in the whole day. Sometimes there won’t be a next time so take the opportunities you have to spend time with the people you love. Take advantage of the time you are given with them because if you don’t you might not have next time.

© Melissa. All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.