When I was 6, I was very extroverted. I loved talking to people and I loved trying to make new friends. When I first joined my new school the first thing I tried to do was seek out friends. A lot of kids didn’t really like me however. But I kept trying and in the end I made some friends. I enjoyed seeing them everyday and loved going to school.

However, things took a bad turn. Most of my friends I had made ended up moving away to different states. I never heard from or saw most of them again. I was torn up and upset. However I ended up joining a small friend group afterwards. But I remember a few times they took painful jabs at me, insulting my height or physical appearance. It felt like they hated me but I stood by them as I was afraid to lose them.

Over the years this friend group grew bigger and also much nicer to me. I ended up loving these friends a lot. We ended up getting along, and I remember we would play together at recess then we would always sit at lunch and talk. I was usually the quieter one in the group, but I enjoyed watching and engaging sometimes in conversation. I got along with some better than others, but overall it was good. I considered them the perfect friends and said I didn’t need new friends as long as I had them. One friend in particular was a very close friend. We met in 5th grade. She started talking to me and I quickly warmed up to her. We both shared lots of similar interests and had lots of happy memories. She was a very special person to me despite the fact we would argue sometimes. I still considered her my best friend. But then COVID-19 hit.

COVID-19 separated me from my friends in the middle of 8th grade. When high school came I went to a separate school. I also had to do school online through Zoom meetings. Online school was frustrating. I found myself easily distracted, and falling behind. But something good came. I managed to find my middle school friends online. They seemed happy to see me, but this would soon change. A few months later they got mad about a fictional story I wrote and privately shared with them, which included their names. I came to understand their anger and realized I should have asked permission to use their names, but instead of telling me to just delete the story, they just talked trash behind my back. They also, at the same time, blamed me for not reaching out sooner and trying to reconnect.

I was really hurt afterwards and didn’t want to make new friends. I feared they would do the same. To have the people who you trust most turn their backs on you, hurt. For me this was the most painful thing I’ve ever felt. I cared about them despite everything and still considered them friends.

But in the end I had to let them go and I’m happy I did. In my 11th-grade year I got a job offer from Masshire to work at a place called Teen Block. I took the job at first for the paycheck. I told myself I won't get attached to anyone. I would only be there to do my work. This was soon proven wrong. I ended up making lots of new friends at this job; and ended up enjoying it more than I thought I would. Everyone in my job made me feel safe and welcome. It's a place where I could share my interests without being judged and a place that I was happy to go to.

I have gained friends, lost friends, been accepted by friends, and hurt by friends. This experience taught me not everything lasts forever, but there’s always going to be new people, new friends you’ll meet along the way.

© Jocelyn . All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.