"Narcissism" is a personality disorder that can hurt those around the person who has it. My father, who is also my grandfather, has suffered from this curable disorder for many years. Instead of giving me love and care, he treated me like a burden. I tried hard to show him love, but it felt like I was trying to fill an empty void that never got filled.

Being adopted by my grandparents is more complicated than it seems. Before I came along, my father had a stroke that left him in a wheelchair for my first two years. My mom says he healed himself later, but I think he just chose to ignore his feelings. When I was about three, I annoyed him while he was watering the yard, and he got so mad that he actually hit me with the hose. I remember being a scared toddler, realizing that the person who should protect me could also hurt me. My mom only found out about this years later when he left us, taking his anger with him.

Growing up without a solid father figure was difficult. When he left, I felt something inside of me break. At thirteen, I got into serious trouble that led to a year-long grounding. During that time, my mom took me to church every Sunday. I didn’t care about faith at first; it felt boring and too serious. But being stuck at home made me think. I started to listen to the pastor, read the Bible, and pray for help.

Then I went to Dunes Bible Camp, full of excited kids eager to share their faith. I felt out of place, but something changed. I decided to give my life to God. This moment meant a lot to me. I realized I could find comfort in faith, even while dealing with my depression and anxiety.

Now, I think of God as a father. He isn’t just a distant figure; I see Him as a loving dad who cares for me, even when I’m difficult. Through my relationship with Him, I’m learning to handle life with a mix of humor and hope. I know I still struggle with my past, but I also see there can be beauty among my pain.

I’m doing well, just living my life with my beautiful mom, boyfriend, and friends who truly love me. I’m focusing on what brings me joy, pursuing my passions, and taking care of my well-being. Each day is an opportunity for love and laughter, and I’m excited for what’s next.

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