My story starts when it was the first day back to school. It was the start of 5th grade. I knew 5th grade was going to be harder, and that it wasn’t going to be the same as 4th grade. I acknowledged that 5th grade is going to have ups and downs by now, but I hadn’t even started. I knew there would be drama and friend groups are bound to mess up, but most of all people were going to change and look more different. As I walked into my class, I realized there and then that some people looked different. Some people changed up their appearances, their hair, clothes, and started to get into makeup. I looked back at myself and saw that I still remained the same person as I was back in 4th grade. This was something that I kept in mind throughout my class and in recess. It made me feel like I should have changed just like the rest of them. To look like I have changed in some way. At this moment, it made me feel like I should change.

I thought that I could reflect on myself and try to compare myself based on others' appearances. It was one of the times something like this happened, and it was a realization that people aren’t always going to stay the same. People change, everything changes but I thought it was already time for me to have a change like that. A change of thinking, dressing, and maybe looks overall. It made me realize at this moment that how you see people can influence you, they can influence you but only at a certain point. Then the rest of it influences yourself based on how you perceive yourself.

An example of changing was how I dressed on my first day of school, and I had this favorite jacket that I wore and I loved it. But then the rest of the days I never really wore it anymore. I lost interest in it, and I was influenced by myself and with others. I bought it before my school year, and I really liked it a lot. Another thing I lost interest in was these pants that went along with my favorite jacket. I remember noticing the changes that I had done like not wearing the clothes I used to wear. I only told her that I just didn’t like my new clothes anymore and I denied if it was because of what kids were now wearing. I told her that I regretted getting these clothes, and they just weren’t nice.

I convinced my mom to take me shopping and get some new clothes that were more interesting to me now. As I picked out my clothes I would say “oh I saw my friend wear that” and “I want to buy this, not that”. My mom had noticed, but she just would say, as long as I like it she will buy it. She bought it, and then I would come to school feeling new and different but still the same person. The people that were closest to me would question me and ask where my jacket was and that they had loved it. This made me question myself and I realized it was a lie. My friends loved who I was originally and they helped make me realize that I don’t need to change. I was fine how I was, no change needed. I was glad to be my true self and find myself once again.

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