I used to think of the U.S. as a blank piece of paper, with nothing special about it. Where I live specifically, there is no Hispanic culture, and that always made me feel jealous and insecure whenever I visited family. I hated the fact that my mom’s parents and my dad left their countries for the U.S., or even that my mom left Los Angeles, which is full of Mexican culture, for the PNW. Logically, I always knew there was a pretty valid reason for their leaving, but I never thought it was worth my being so disconnected from my culture.

Last summer, for my 15th birthday, instead of only visiting Los Angeles like we do every year, we went to Las Vegas and Tijuana, Mexico. When we parked outside of my aunt’s house in Tijuana, I saw how they lived. In Mexico, there are many small houses poorly placed wherever possible, covering steep hills, and that was where my aunt lived. The view inside was like that of a Ferris wheel. Later, we went to get some food and the streets were so poorly managed, people were free to litter, and the city looked so full yet so empty. The place I wished I lived in was not at all what I expected.

In spring, I went to Guatemala for 2 weeks with my dad; it had been 7 years since I had been, so I was so happy to go and relive my childhood. Even though I knew how they lived, showering with a bucket of water and cooking with an old stove, I didn’t hate it, but then I remembered how I live, with running water and a new electric stove. They only had the resources they did because my dad helped provide for them, and he wouldn’t have been able to do that if he hadn’t come to the U.S., which made me see more clearly why my dad left.

I don’t know much about how my dad grew up, but I do know he grew up in Rio Dulce, Guatemala, and had a family there. He wanted to become a lawyer, but his parents couldn’t afford to pay for school, so now he works a dangerous job to provide for us. He went through the decade-long process of becoming a U.S. citizen for a better life, and I had to do nothing.

I now see the U.S. instead as a clean slate; I am free to do whatever I want, as I have all the resources I need here. I am grateful that my family left the places they knew most to better not only their own lives, but mine as well. I grew up with a comfortable lifestyle, being able to travel, live in a great home, and not only have what I need to survive, but also to be happy, and I will never again take any of those things for granted.

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