I like to pride myself on the fact that I am a kind person. I grew up in a family where I was always taught to “treat others the way you want to be treated.” But what if someone takes that kindness away from you?

It all started in 7th grade when I became close to a girl in my friend group. I had a lot going on at this time, such as poor mental health and being bullied by people at school. Often, social dramas at school started with little things like leaving someone out of a hangout or gossiping a little, but then things escalated. My best friend started to change; she would gossip about everyone, and she became meaner and meaner. I would usually say nothing, but when you’re around that behavior so much, you start to adapt. Just like her, I became meaner and meaner., losing one of the few things I liked about myself, the fact I was kind.

The guilt of my meanness started to consume me. I was being told by my friends and family that I was changing. I was still being bullied by my own friends and others. I felt so lonely even though I was surrounded by people. I decided I did not want to go back to that school the next year, and my parents and I started looking for other schools. Switching schools gave me hope that I wouldn’t feel like this anymore. On the first day of my new school, I was very nervous.It turns out not everyone is so mean. Everyone was nice and welcoming; I was surprised. The longer the year went on, the more I noticed I was living two different lives. At school, I felt like myself, like I wasn’t forcing anything. My new friends were great, and I was getting closer to them. When I would get home and text or hang out with my “best friend,” it felt unnatural, like I was faking who I was.

In the winter of 2023-24, my anxiety and depression skyrocketed. I was so sad I didn’t even recognize myself. As I tried to cope with the anxiety and depression, I turned to God. I had always been “Christian,” but I found myself turning to Him more than ever. I also realized that I needed to stop being friends with my best friend. In the spring of 2024, she started to ignore me. We went from calling, texting, and hanging out every day to not contacting each other for days on end. At first, I was upset, but then I realized this was what I had been praying for. That summer, we completely stopped talking. I was finally happy and content. I had amazing friends and a growing relationship with God, and my mental health was getting better. At the end of the summer, I got a text from her. She apologized for our falling out. One part of me wanted to ignore her, but then I remembered that the Lord forgave me, so I needed to be forgiving, too. I explained how I felt and how I thought it was best that we stopped talking. Then she asked me if we could be friends again, and I said we could, but just not best friends, and that’s where we are now.

Getting my kindness back was getting part of me back. Being bullied and being the bully showed me how much power words can hold. Now, I try to be nice to everyone. My relationship with God is strong and is growing stronger every day. I have great friends who make me a better person. My mental health is better, and finding a relationship with God has helped me overcome my anxiety. I’ve learned to never let someone take away something you love about yourself and to always be kind.

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