Being in school, sometimes you can get carried away with fitting in or being afraid to stand up for yourself. While in school, I would let the people that made my life miserable treat me like trash, and I never gave myself a chance to stand up for myself because I was afraid. I was fearful of what they would do if I said something back to them or what they would tell people and how it would make me look.

When I heard that we were leaving school and switching to online, I felt such relief. I was tired of dealing with people. I would deal with a situation at school by shutting down and letting my emotions bottle up. Within a month of online learning, I realized that I was doing the same thing whenever I got into an argument with a sibling or got in trouble at home. I would be quiet and not show emotions; it didn't feel right. I felt drained every day and didn't want to go anywhere. I would stay in bed all day and sometimes not even eat.

After acknowledging that I had to work on myself and how I treated people in my household, I decided to be more observant about how I approached a problem. I would say to my parents that I am currently working on tatyana.1 or tatyana.2, and it was based on how much I improved. I guess that's what helped me become a better version of myself.

Whenever I spoke up or disagreed with a situation, my so-called "friends" would belittle me, and I felt embarrassed for saying anything at all. I then noticed that by not being in school and not talking and hanging around the people I usually would, I felt free, less worried, and more like myself. Overall, focusing on myself was the best thing that I could do for myself. I have never felt so happy and so relieved with myself, tatyana.x.

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