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Ellis

Housatonic Valley Waldorf School, Newtown, Connecticut

I think everyone comes to a point in their life when life itself pushes them to a cliff's edge. The cliff is fairly high, high enough that clouds block any view of the ground underneath. No one knows if the earth below is lush, green, full of flowers, plants, booming with wildlife, or if it’s brown, dead, barren land, with the occasional starving savage wolf darting past. Whether when they step off of the edge there will be soft moss to cushion their fall, or if they are plummeting down, down, down until they finally crash and crack their bones on the rough and sharp rocks that have been awaiting them at the bottom all along. It is a moment of complete and utter uncertainty.

This is how I feel about transitioning to high school. There are two sides: it could go really well or really terribly. It gives me the opportunity to go somewhere no one knows me, hence I could be anything I want and be the person I've always wanted to be. However, the flip side of being unknown could result in being judged, having no friends, and being constantly alone. Especially since I have barely ever been forced into any situations where I must make friends, given my upbringing.

I have attended the same school for the past eight years, which I find to be a blessing and a curse. It is lovely to have friends that have known you so long and so well. However, that also means that they each have a strong idea of who I am because of who I used to be, what I used to enjoy and what my interests were, and at times that can hold comfort but also carries the feeling of being bound to my reputation with unbreakable bonds. Sometimes it can even go farther to the point where my work isn't acknowledged because I've done it for so long and everyone thinks that it's easy for me, they don't notice the daily effort. Many also refuse to accept if I am upset or hurting, because for so long I have had an image of always being positive and enthusiastic.

Since I met many of these people at the age of six when I didn't have to think about making friends, we were forced to like each other because we weren't a very big class: starting with fourteen students and making our way down to six and then ultimately graduating as a class of eight students, we have grown up together and are now practically family.

I barely knew how to make friends. Then I began picking up extracurricular activities, such as dance and theater. In dance it took me two years to finally have a little group of three friends. As for theater, I started by doing one class a week for a year and then the following summer I took part in the summer production of The Addams Family. I knew the director from classes, but everyone else was a complete stranger. Many of them knew each other from school and past productions. I became friends with two girls rather quickly: one I did much of my scene work with and the other was incredibly social and friends with everyone. As for the rest of the cast, I felt as though they didn't like me, judged me, and didn't think I was talented. I spent my time working as hard as I could to do my best in my small part, to prove I belonged there. After I felt they had accepted me as part of the show, I thought they didn't like me. I tried to be the kindest possible. And finally, by opening night we were a family.

© Ellis. All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.

    Tags:

  • Friendship and Kindness