Ever since the day my parents left, I have developed the thought of what if, a constant wonder of how my life would be if I had chosen to go back with them. It was the summer of 2019. My parents decided to travel to the United States to meet our family; one we had only known through pictures. We spent most of our visit at my uncle’s welcoming home. As our goodbyes drew closer, my uncle urged my brother to stay and study in the U.S. Although my parents planned to live in the U.S. at some point, they were not ready to move permanently, and leaving my brother alone was not an option. One day, while my parents were conversing with my uncle, I was sitting in the living room watching TV, when I heard, “We cannot leave him by himself.” Thirteen-year-old me did not know what I was getting into when I said, “I can stay too!” My parents looked at me in shock, but then it occurred to them that it was a good idea. If both of us stayed, we would have each other for company and support.

My parents left a week before school started, and I was terrified. Despite being a resident of the United States, I was going to a new school, I was in a completely different country, and now I was exposed to a language I hardly knew. I could not understand a single thing that was happening at school—not the teachers, not the students, nor the assignments. Having always been the type of kid who understood everything at school, I suddenly felt lost, wanting to take the first plane back to Michoacan. I missed my town, I missed the sound of the bells on a Sunday morning, the sight of avocado trees all around, the smell of wet dirt after that regular rainfall. Thinking of these things only made my struggle more. My parents would tell me, “Tu echale ganas,” they encouraged me to keep trying, to stick with my decision, to not give up. Hearing their words reminded me of the reason why I decided to stay in the first place: to create opportunities and build a better future for my family.

Although it was hard, I managed to survive the first couple of months, mainly because I joined the soccer team which gave me a sense of belonging. I had made friends but I still struggled with schoolwork. How could I build a better future for my family if I could hardly understand my classes? With that in mind, I committed myself to studying English daily.

Four months passed, and I had made substantial progress. Suddenly the pandemic happened and my parents decided to take us back to Mexico for safety. My wish came true, I was back at home. Only now, it no longer felt like home. In just a couple of months, I started a new life, I had new friends, new plans, and new goals and I was not about to let my hard work go to waste. The first opportunity that I had, I returned to the U.S. to finish what I started. I continued pushing myself, taking advanced classes, and discovering new interests.

To this day, I still wonder what my life might have been like if I had returned to Mexico and continued the life I had there. In reality, what matters is not what could have been, but what is. I realized the potential and opportunities that I have. I am grateful for the opportunity my parents gave me by letting me stay in America. Without their support and encouragement, I would not be in the position I find myself in today. Though there is still much to achieve, I know that if I can overcome such a significant life change, I am prepared for anything that comes my way.

© Cristian. All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.