Growing up I was very thin, fragile almost. I had the perfect skin, and the perfect weight. But back then, I didn't pay too much attention to my reflection in the mirror. I was more focused on playing and learning, making friends and having fun. I was cheerful and fun to be around. But that was many years ago. As I got older, things began to change. I started gaining weight, I was moody, and everyday I faced a different kind of scrutiny. I stared at my reflection only ever wanting to see the flaws and imperfections. My weight gain felt magnified a thousand times over in my eyes. No one told me I looked bad, but my opinion on myself mattered much more than what others thought. My family felt concerned and pitiful in my change of demeanor and self-esteem. They would tell me from time to time how I shouldn’t care about my appearance so much to the point where it brought me down. My mom specifically told me how unhealthy it was to obsess over something so pointless. But at that time I didn’t care too much about what others said. I was too stuck on trying to look good for myself. I would find clothes that would make me feel better and look better. But my reflection was haunting me no matter what I wore or how much makeup I put on. My arms and thighs were too big, so I wore baggy clothes hoping to hide the flaws. But even with big clothes, I just looked bigger. My reflection laughed at me. But I was determined to change. Change my mindset and my appearance. I didn’t do it the right way but it was working. I now realize it wasn’t the right way, but over summer break I starved myself for almost two months with off and on minimal snacking. I refused to eat thinking that if I ate too much I would keep gaining weight. People have asked me multiple times if I was eating. I’d smile and nod my head. I lost 40 pounds and looked much better. But no matter what I looked like, the reflection in the mirror screamed dissatisfaction. Now I was too skinny; not enough. No matter how much weight I lost, I couldn't shake the feeling of disapproval. It wasn't until someone told me to stop worrying about how I look; criticizing myself was taking a toll on my mental health and happiness. My relentless pursuit of an ideal body wasn't helping with anything. He told me I was perfect the way I am. I remember him telling me how I looked perfect despite my opinions on my appearance. That I didn't have to try so hard to please my reflection because what mattered most to him was what was on the inside. I soon realized that bodies change all the time. Different stages of life and aging affect the way you see yourself and that's perfectly fine. I started embracing my self-acceptance and growth, and my reflection smiled back at me for the first time in a while. All of a sudden, all the flaws felt less visible, and all of my worries felt lighter. I felt happier to be in my body. I learned that true beauty comes from within, that self-love is the most important kind of love. This journey helped me realize that no one's perfect, the only thing that's stopping you from being happy is you.

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